Grand Slam's Christmas Surprise
by JoeBabyFyrestorm
Summary: The girls have a plan to win this year's battle of the sexes, and it's gonna take Spitfyre to pull it off.


Spitfyre shakes her head. "I have no idea how you girls talked me into this. James is going to kill me, and you guys are next with your men. Hawk, on the other hand, will kill us all at the same time by himself."  
  
"I think James'll like your act. You know he's just aching to see you in something a little more revealing than your usual jeans and turtlenecks," Taffy stated brightly.  
  
"Well, yeah, we all know that. I just didn't think you meant THIS revealing," Cadence hissed. The rest of the girls in the dressing room laughed.  
  
Cadence stood in the middle of the group in a bolero jacket that was a size too small and short, short skirt, both of which were red velvet trimmed in white fur. The scar from her recent brush with death was partially visible, but everyone ignored it. Lady Jaye was twisting her hair into a bun, leaving a few tendrils hanging down.  
  
"I'm still trying to figure out how I let you five talk me into doing Santa Baby."  
  
"We all agreed that you had the best voice for it. Don't worry; we'll be behind you the whole time. We won't let the guys do anything you don't want them to."  
  
"As long as you girls got our cameras set up."  
  
"Oh we got them, alright," Jinx purred, "We even got Mainframe, Dial-Tone, and a couple of the greenshirts to help us."  
  
"I've got a bet for any of you that want to take it," Cadence offered.  
  
"What is it?" Courtney asked, curious.  
  
"Well, I'll bet twenty bucks that at least ten guys fall out of their seats in shock, and that includes Hawk, Grand Slam, AND Lifeline."  
  
"You're on." Taffy retorted. "I think it'll be just those three, and maybe Heavy Metal, too."  
  
It was the night of the annual G.I.Joe Christmas Show. This year, the girls had elected to do two acts each, one by themselves with the rest of the girls as backup and one all together. Stunner and Scarlett had somehow talked Spitfyre into doing Santa Baby. They were determined to get the upper hand in the current battle of the sexes.  
  
Psyche-Out, who was acting as this year's stage manager, stuck his head in the door and said, "Okay, Spitfyre, it's-----." He stopped mid sentence as his brain finally caught up with his eyes. "Um, showtime." He said in a very high-pitched voice.  
  
As she walked out of the room, towards the stage, he told her, "You look good, honey. This is a side of your personality that I've never seen before. You're gonna knock every male out there for a loop."  
  
"That's the general idea, Psyche-Out."  
  
He turns the stage lights off and all the audience can see are shadows moving around.  
  
"I wonder what this one's going to be, eh, bro? I'll bet it's Scarlett doing something like Blue Christmas and-" Falcon was cut off mid sentence as the music started. The same thing happened to him that happened to the rest of the men; his eyes bulged and his jaw dropped as the lights came up and Spitfyre was standing there in her very revealing outfit.  
  
Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree  
  
For me  
  
Been an awful good girl  
  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
Santa baby, a 54 convertible, too Light blue  
  
I'll wait up for you, dear  
  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
THUD!!!!!!!!  
  
"It's okay, people. Grand Slam just fainted is all," Lifeline explained as he checked his comrade, who had fallen out of his chair into the aisle. He turned his head to look at the stage. "Holy Mary, Mother of.I didn't think her body was THAT good." His eyes rolled back in his head, and he fainted, also, falling on top of poor Grand Slam, who was just starting to come around.  
  
Not missing a beat, Cadence wields her voice and her body like the powerful weapons that they were.  
  
Think of all the fun I've missed  
  
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed  
  
Next year I could be just as good  
  
If you'll check off my Christmas list  
  
Santa honey, I want a yacht and really that's not a lot  
  
Been an angel all year  
  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
With her seductive movements and even more seductive voice, Cadence had guys falling all over the place as they finally realized who the siren on the stage was.  
  
"Hey, Duke, who is that girl? She seems familiar, but I just can't place her." Hawk leans over to ask.  
  
"Um, General, that's Spitfyre."  
  
"Cadence Kincaid? You have got to be kidding me, Duke. She would never do something like this."  
  
"I'm serious, Sir. That's her all right. Something's happened to make her show a different side of her personality. What do you think the girls did, Sir? Sir? Ah, great, Hawk's fainted too."  
  
He settled back into his seat and watched with pride as Spitfyre single- handedly won the battle of the sexes for the women. He was proud of how brave she was, knowing how painful it must be for her to wear something so revealing, because of her past.  
  
Falcon was sitting next to him and was leaning forward; drool dripping off of his chin. Duke reached over and grabbed his brother's shoulder, pulling him back into his seat. "Falcon, Jinx is watching you like a hawk," he hissed, "She'll kill you if she sees this drool on your chin."  
  
"Nah, Conrad, she'll believe me if I told her that I was drooling over her and not Cadence."  
  
"I highly doubt it."  
  
"Conrad, you're just jealous because Scarlett won't come on to you like that."  
  
Duke rears back and punches Falcon in the jaw, setting off a small fight.  
  
Santa cutie, there's one thing I really need, the deed  
  
To a platinum mine  
  
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
Santa baby, fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks  
  
Sign your 'x' on the line  
  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
Come and trim my Christmas tree  
  
With some decorations bought at tiffany's  
  
I really do believe in you  
  
Let's see if you believe in me  
  
Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
  
I don't mean on the phone  
  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
Hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
Hurry down the chimney tonight  
  
Spitfyre ends up jumping off of the stage and sashaying down the aisle to where Grand Slam was sitting on the floor. She looks directly into his eyes, knowing that if he did faint again that he wouldn't have as far to fall as he did the first time.  
  
Hurry, tonight  
  
Grand Slam blasts to his feet and grabs Spitfyre, bending her backwards with a fiery kiss. The entire room erupts in cheers.  
  
"Well, it looks like the girls have won this years battle of the sexes." Psyche-Out muttered. "Um, Guys? Can anyone top that one, or should we just call it a night?"  
  
"No, Psyche, I think that's the ultimate performance. That's why we wanted to save it for last," Lady Jaye explained.  
  
Grand Slam straightened up and slung Spitfyre over his shoulder to the hooting and hollering of the men in the audience. He stalked all the way across the base to his quarters and into the bedroom after kicking the door shut and locking it.  
  
He drops Spitfyre onto the floor by the bed. "You did this for me?" he asked, running his finger up and down the fur trim of her skimpy outfit.  
  
She blushed. "Well it started out as a group thing, and then we decided to make it a solo, and Taffy was saying that you were dying to see me in something a little more revealing than what I normally wear, so. I just didn't think that she meant that the outfit would be this revealing." She gulps as she looks up at him and sees the fire kindling in his eyes. "James."  
  
"Ssssh, baby. I'm just going to hold you for a couple of minutes. I want so badly to kiss you right now, I can barely control myself."  
  
She puts her arms around his neck and stretches on her tiptoes to place her lips barely a couple of centimeters away from his. "Maybe I don't want you to control yourself tonight."  
  
"Cadie, baby, you don't need the stress of having to worry about having a relationship with me. I want to wait until you're ready before I try anything with you."  
  
In response to that plea, she leans into him and kisses him, threading her fingers through his hair. He groans in surrender and throws himself into the kiss.  
  
The next thing either one of them remembers, they both wake up on the couch in the living room with a large group of guys looking at them. She's wearing one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers.  
  
"You two have a nice night?" asked Short Fuse.  
  
*Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt I don't own any of this gang except maybe, Taffy AKA Stunner and Spitfyre AKA Cadie. DIC and Hasbro own the rest of them, I'm just borrowing them for a tiny bit. 


End file.
